Thursday, July 5, 2012

Heavy Heart

I have procrastinated for days to write this post. Somehow in my mind if I type it will be real.
Right now I feel like it's a horrible nightmare and I will wake up and everything is gonna be the way it was before.... before Wednesday last week.
That was when I went to bed as always, after taking Ellie and Bambam outside for a last pee pee. Then we go to the bedroom, Ellie heads to her bed by my bed and Bambam waits for me to pick her up and put her on my bed. Then she plays, and rubs herself against the sheets, she makes a nest with my covers and lays down.
Well I laid down but couldn't sleep. It's a habit of mine when I can't fall asleep to caress and pet Bambam. Somehow the warmth of her little body and her soft fur calms me and I end up falling asleep.
Well, not that night. As I was running my fingers on her hind legs I found a lump on her left leg.
Now, I know that lump was not there for long, I always check my dogs, weekly, for lumps and bumps.
I tried not to panic so she wouldn't feel the stress that I would generate. I just hugged her and spent the night awake imagining every worse scenario.
Thursday early in the morning I called Banfield . They told us to come in at 4. Well, that was a long day, 4 o'clock took forever. I was there at the clinic by 3:30 because I just couldn't stand to wait at home.
Her doctor said that it definitely needed an FNA (fine needle aspiration) so she did it, right away. The sample was sent to the lab. Now this was on Thursday at almost 5, I knew those results were not gonna be ready till Monday.
What a long weekend! And keeping an eye on her, her behavior, if she is eating, drinking, peeing, pooping....
Monday came and the nightmare got worse. The lump is a mast cell tumor.
If you are not a hard core dog lover you are probably thinking 'oh she'll be ok'.... for the ones who your pets are your fur children and you have found already your soul dog, that one that looks at you and you both know what the other is feeling or wants ... yeah, a piece of my heart or my soul or my being, I don't know how to put into words.... just broke into a million pieces.
I went back with her this Tuesday to consult with her doctor.
Here is what comes next: Wednesday the 11th is the day
Bambam will have blood work, xrays and ultrasounds. Then she'll have surgery. Dr B will go in and remove the tumor (it's pea size the damn thing causing so much havoc), she has to take about an inch of tissue all around which might pose a problem being that the tumor is not that far from Bambam's knee.
If pathology comes back (that will be another 3-4 days) that the tumor is grade I and that the tissue removed around it is clear of bad cells, we will celebrate. Bambam will be put on Prednisone and live another 5-6 yrs.
If it's grade II, more surgery and possibly radiation.
The doctor is pretty much sure it's not grade III. Bambam is her normal self except for the 3 times a day I have to give her Benadryl and she gets mad. She's eating, playing, barking.... when a dog has a grade III mast cell tumor the poor animal gets very ill and they have very little left, just a few weeks.

PLEASE, run your hands thru your animals often, at least once/mo, look between the pads on their paws (yeah mast cell tumors love those places), look at their gum to see if it's a good pink... don't wait till the 6 or 12 mos check up at the vet.
I am sure that lump on Bambam's leg was not there for over a week before I found it.

PLEASE, pray for her. She's my baby and the one who lays with me when I am in pain. For 10 yrs now she's been my companion. She's 11 but yorkiepoos have a longer life span so she is not 'old'.

This pic was taken in Helen, GA on June 6, 2012

If there's any typos in this post, forgive me, kinda hard to type with tears running down your face.


Anna @ Cozy Corner Crochets said...

Aw, Rose, how awful for you. We know about tumors in this pet-friendly home, once in a cat and once in a dog. Both had surgery to remove the tumor and surrounding skin. Our dog did have some adverse effects because of the location of the tumor, but he didn't have to go on any meds or anything and lived several more years. So I hope you have good luck. Whatever happens, love your doggy and don't let her know you're upset.

Rose Kute said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rose Kute said...

thanks Anna, you are always so sweet.

Anonymous said...

That's terrible news! I wish your baby the best for a speedy recovery.

Catherine Templeton said...

Prayers for both you and BamBam - what a sweetie-pie she is! Hopefully you found it and will have it all done with before it could get bad. (Well, badder) ;-\